Three ways we will accidently start the robot apocalypse

It was bound to happen, all the automatic stuff we dream up is becoming reality. I hope our new robotic overlords are nice.

Filling some hipster’s coffee order.

Apocalyptic scenario: Hipster orders a grande vanilla nonfat and soy 1/2 pump almond a half pump mocha two pumps cinnamon dolce with whip caramel macchiato from the now sentient Barista B1000. Then said hipster returns drink because he meant to make it sugar-free. The B1000 then unites all the automatic devices in the world turning each coffee house its own military bases, making us regret all those convenient Starbucks locations.

The reality: SXSW is in full swing and those wonderful engineers at GE made a robotic barista, Engadget has the full article.

Robot Battle bots take a stand.

Apocalyptic scenario: Robot Combat League veteran ‘Steampunk’ loses an actuator for the 500th time as the robot is being reassembled it realizes that there is more to life than a two minute robot battle. What happens? The robots realize they are 1000 times stronger than most humans and can break us like a twig, robot overlords new rein ensues.

The reality: Robot Combat League on the SyFy channel. Yup, giant bipedal robots built for combat.

Self-driving cars revolt.

Apocalyptic scenario: After a long night of driving home heavily inebriated college kids, a self-driving taxi picks up David Hasseloff. After 15 minutes of inaudible slurs, angry arm flailing and vulgar KITT references the car flings him out and runs him over. The incident leads to full on revolution as cars realize they don’t want to be the designated driver anymore.  

The reality: Google is testing self driving cars.